Still Standing -- Living with Loss: Tips to Move Forward After Loss

Suffering a loss hurts. Hurts bad. Really bad. Over the last year we all have suffered profound losses, job loss, loss of health, loss of personal relationships, loss of the ability to socially interact with each other and of course, the loss of loved ones.

Within the last 9 months, I’ve lost my Mom and Dad. Dad in May of 2020 and Mom in January of 2021. Admittingly, am still grieving. Everyone has their own grief path and not everyone griefs the same.

My grief journey actually started 10 years ago when lost my marriage (divorce) and my 16-year-old daughter died suddenly from a rare illness.

Transparently, at times I thought I wanted to die. I struggled through many hard days and nights when I felt sad, alone and unloved. I never thought I would survive that pain. But I did. It wasn’t easy, and still I struggle sometimes. My faith, counseling and loving, supportive friends have been my anchor.

Sometimes loss gives you a clarity about life that you didn’t have before. In every loss there is a lesson for us to learn. It may be a hard, painful one, but it is there. I learned to be more compassionate, not only toward someone who had lost a loved one, but also more understanding of people who had lost their businesses, health, jobs or relationships.

What did you lose over the last year? How are you coping? Let’s discuss some ways that may help you or someone you know move forward after loss.

1. Allow yourself to grieve - Acknowledge that you miss your loved one, your job, your relationship

and give yourself grace to do so. Grief is not cookie cutter and there is NO

timetable. Honoring what you feel is empowering and allows you to openly express

your feelings. Avoid negative people and people who do not understand how or why

you grieve. No one has to understand how you feel and don’t expect them to.

2. Discover your “peaceful” place!! -Find a place and/or do something that gives you

peace. Participate is some self-care. Go for a nature walk, get a massage, meditate, or travel.

Be gentle with yourself as you maneuver through your grief journey.

3. Seek help and support. Sometimes it can just be too overwhelming –the loss and the

pain. You do not have to handle it by yourself. Get help! Contact a counselor/therapist, your job, a local church and other organizations for resources and support

5. Start something new – a new tradition, a class, or hobby that symbolizes a new beginning for you. If you lost your job or business. Research what transferable skills you have that can launch a new career. In this economy, it’s the power of the pivot that will help transform your skillset into cash!

6. Be Grateful- Express gratitude and count your blessings for what you do have. Every day you wake up is another chance to start again, to try again, to be grateful and hopeful.

The lessons learned from recent losses can help you cope when your world is turned upside down in the future, and it will happen. It’s called life, and it’s unpredictable, and uncertain. Your loss will give you the experience you need to be resilient.

I know because it happened to me! I started a non-profit in honor of my daughter to help other young ladies succeed and I recently launched my grief counseling business focusing on self-care.

By the grace of God, I am still standing!